NOT THE ONE

Aaaai I don’t know if I am just cynical or a realist , but I am seriously amazed at people ‘s persuit of finding the ” ONE” or being in love ! The ONE what ??? We are all the ” one ” , maybe focus on being the one good man /woman , learn to love yourself and be happy within yourself then maybe you will be the one good partner for someone else ! We are not puzzles that need to be completed , no other person can make us happy ! Yes they can be a part of our happiness but they ultimately cannot make one happy ! When you rushing from one failed relationship / marriage to another , then guess what has it not occurred to you , you might be the problem . You could find the most amazing , most incredible person , but if you are not whole and complete then that person won’t be the one for you either ! Trust me there is no rush because if you have found the ONE , are truly in love and it’s part of Gods plan for your life then nothing on this earth will destroy it ! At this age i would think one would exercise more caution and be more discerning about who one professes their love too. How do u tell all and sundry you love them and then 2 to 3 months down the line profess to be in love with someone else AGAIN 🙈 I know it’s the season for sharing the love but really now 😂😂😂 I look at my life and know the colossal mistakes I have made but guess what I have reflected on it and realized every single one of us have our own burdens , our own crosses to carry and our own issues ! So what’s the rush …… Or are we scared the ONE will realize a couple of months down the line that we are NOT the ONE for them 😛😂😜😝 now if you will please excuse me this ONE is going to become one with the couch 😂😂

Christmas

What is it about Christmas that gives everyone hope , that makes everyone want to do better and be better , to make one reflect . It’s that time of year where everyone posts their FB year in review , motivational quotes , new year new me posts, however this can be an extremely stressful , painful , difficult time of the year for many . Loss is loss ,pain is pain ,grief is grief , many of us are going through battles noone knows about , we might post our best lives to social media , but we are healing or trying to heal from things we dont discuss. I wish I could say ” everything will be OK ” but I wont as I dont know and I cant guarantee that . But what I do know is ,it doesn’t matter what we go through ,we DO make it , I do know that every storm ,trial ,tribulation that has happened might have been extremely painful but we are stronger than we think and more resilient than we will ever know . So be kind to yourself ,be kind to others and have faith that God is working behind the scenes working everything out , we might not understand His plan and purpose ,but trust me there is a plan and purpose. Embrace everything , and if you need to cry and scream ,rant , do it , that’s part of healing BUT know this , this too shall pass ,it might pass like a kidney stone but it will. Live Victoriously ,Laugh Joyously , Love Passionately .. the only thing we as humans want irrespective of our social ,economic , cultural backgrounds is to Love and be loved ..IMAGINE if we all just do that , what an incredible world this would be …

The ONE

Help me please I don’t know if I should be perplexed , confused or amused. I am watching the FB relationship shenanigans and find it absolutely fascinating . I can’t believe how quickly people move from relationship to relationship not giving themselves time too heal , recover , too grow , too learn ,hell some of you don’t even end your current relationship before embarking on another ( yes we all know trust me on that ) Are you a light switch ,on today off tomorrow , one person today , another tomorrow ?????Hello you going to have the same crappy relationship as you haven’t learnt from the previous one….SO STOP it ….STOP searching for the ONE …there is no such such thing as the ONE …become ONE with yourself , ONE with GOD , ONE with your family and friends , hell become ONE with the couch and own that TV remote …there is no such thing as the RIGHT MAN / WOMAN ..STOP searching for the right man / woman Be the RIGHT person . You can have all the money , sex , relationships in the world ,it’s not going to fill that VOID , no other person is going to complete you ( no you are NOT a jigsaw puzzle )and no ONE is going to make you happy DUH. Thats a huge responsibility to place on another person , to depend on them for your happiness . Some
of you can’t even be by yourself so PRAY tell what are you going to DO with another person . WHEN YOU realise that you are LOVED , WORTHY , ENOUGH, YOU will not look for validation in another person . DONT CAST YOUR PEARLS TO A SWINE ..it doesn’t matter how incredible , amazing , talented , beautiful you are some people are just not in the zone to appreciate that and ITS OK they on their own journey let them GO…don’t take it personally .The correct person will come along don’t persue it ..Dating is ” erm let’s see And I am like ” hmmm I ain’t have no time for that ” . MEN compliment and hit on me constantly and NO I am not being conceited it is what it is , I thank them politely but guess what I am not flattered or honoured because I know I AM AWESOME I DONT need a man to tell me that .I am a princess not because I have a Prince BUT because my heavenly FATHER is a King and once you get that it’s so liberating and powerful.You won’t ever settle for second best again.I have only ever said ” I love you ” thrice in 48 yrs
, some of you are saying that in every single relationship …come on folks those are just words ,it means nothing, nada , zilch…if the actions do not back the words. Your heart is a very special fragile thing DO NOT give it to someone who does not deserve it and whatever you dont unlock the key to your heart for someone who won’t even unlock their cellphone for you …If they need to hide it ,delete it or lie to cover it up then guess what they shouldn’t be doing it in the first place ..Big Red Flag

Authenticity

A friend cautioned me about what I post to FB as I am now ” a role model ” . I thought about that and I truly appreciate the love and concern BUT yet at same time thought ” NO I am not going to change who I am , this is the real Veronique , I am not going to pretend to be something I am not , I am not going to pretend to be perfect , I am not going to sugar coat my life , when it’s far from the truth. A ROLE MODEL is not defined by the amount of degrees , titles or money you earn. A role model is someone who defies all odds to make a success of their life and whose positive attitude overcomes trials and tribulations . Let’s face it folks LIFE , LOVE , RELATIONSHIPS , MARRIAGE , PARENTING is extremely difficult., it’s gory , ugly , messy it’s raw emotion , YES it can be very beautiful and rewarding BUT it’s not a bed of roses and certainly not glamour and champagne , most of the time it’s like a BIRD POOPING ON YOUR HEAD ( yes that has literally happened to me ) and just when you think you have recovered another storm hits , and you like LIFE can you please use some lubricant NOW . So get this folks LIFE is not a competition , none of us are getting out here alive and guess what when we die the size of our graves are the same size. It’s great to post only the wonderful stuff but who are we fooling , share the guts and Gore , show others that life is not a fairytale and that if you lost your glass slipper , no you are not Cinderella but were probably drunk. THERE ARE NO SUPER HEROES coming to rescue you , you have to be own hero ..EVERYONE has problems , even the rich , theirs is just on another level . There is not one person who does not have problems or who have not suffered one way or another , but it’s their attitude and the way they have overcome it , that is a powerful testimony . There are days when I am so tired and stressed I literally want to curl up in a ball and hide under the bed , ok my bed is too low but I have been known to hide in my car in my garage LOL and cry in the shower water running full blast. There are days when I have no energy to cook and the kids eat 2 min noodles and I have learnt not to feel guilty . There are days when I am totally irreverent , swear like a trooper and laugh at totally inappropriate things BUT that’s OK , as long as I pick myself , straighten the crown and be the QUEEN that I am . It’s only by God’s Amazing Grace ( I will not lie , sometimes a glass of bubbly too ) that I get through , being a Christian does not make me perfect but it does make me strive to be a better person. If my silly life , antidotes , mishaps and total dorkiness puts a smile on your face and motivates you to carry on and to” kyk noordt and stoot voort ” ok I might have probably used another word there …THEN MISSION ACCOMPLISHED and if my posts annoy SORRY BUT I CANT BE EVERYONES CUP of tea , but who wants to be boring old tea in any case I would rather be champagne , utterly fabulous , decadent , delicious and totally bubbly

Itchy ,Bitchy and MEN O Pause


If one more person especially a male tells me I am depressed when I complain of physical ailments , I am going to slap them so hard that google won’t be able to find them..DEPRESSED??? HELL YEAH I am depressed

1) This is not the life I ordered ,I am suppoused to be a princess living with my charming prince ,instead I got 4 sprogs who eat me out of house and home and 2 incontinent dogs who give me the finger by pooing on my bed 2) we are living in the midst of a pandemic in a country that that is governed by incompetent clowns 3) I am a woman , who wouldn’t be depressed being a woman we are held hostage to our hormones ,men and kids not necessarily in that order.


So let me just explain to the inferior and weaker sex ..yep you men ..what its like being a woman .
At the age of 13 or so ,we have this rude awakening whilst we still playing with our Barbie dolls , this excruciating abdominal pain hits and we end up bleeding like a stuck pig .I always wondered about that analogy how does a pig bleed and where is it stuck ? Anyway …
And then for the next 30 years of our lives , everything we do or plan is centered on ” that time of the month ” ,what we wearing because heaven forbid one wears a figure hugging outfit with what looks like a diaper between ones legs , have you stocked up on enough aforementioned diapers , whether we look bloated or not due to pre menstrual symptoms..and so we smile and wave until we eventually put into use the reproductive system that caused us a lots of tears the previous 15 to 20 years ..We get a slight reprieve for 9 months by not bleeding like a stuck pig ,instead in its place we look like a whale , either glow or have crappy skin from pregnancy hormones ,have to suffer heartburn and having to pee every 5 minutes as we now have our future genius offspring sitting on our bladder…aaarh but the reprieve is short-lived then the big moment arrives and we have to push an object the size of a melon out of our Va Jay Jay’s that we actually couldn’t see in months unless we held a mirror down there , from voluptuous fabulous cleavage we now reduced to cracked nipples and lying and crying in the bath( not even with a glass of wine because we are breastfeeding) with cabbage leaves over said nipples which never helped either ..ooh i forgot about the episiotomy scarring and trying to wee or poo without passing out from pain ..TRY and be a SEX GODDESS after that..sexy is the last thing you feel like after giving birth and of course say Goodbye to your abdominal muscles ,it will never ever be the same again
And YES AFTER 4 KIDS I am allowed to have a skew belly button and mummy tummy ..whilst we have been incubating the future world leaders ,some of you were developing a beer boep and just generally acting like twats .
So after we have done our bit to populate the earth one would think we would get a bit of a break ,but what with balancing motherhood and careers we still end up sleep deprived, and slightly unhinged …
Aaarh and so the naughty 40s or fabulous forties arrive and we all breathe a sigh of relief, the sprogs by then should be reasonably self sufficient, we have had the epiphany that no more shall we carry the weight of others expectations, we are more confident and know our worth and we done with “faking it until you make it ” and just to be clear YES SOMETIMES WE DID FAKE IT …but i digress .
And just when we actually loving our naughty 40s and wanting to be naughty ,yes we are at our sexual peak ..WE SEXY AND WE KNOW IT unlike men who in their 40s revert to asinine juvenile behaviour ..the universe humbles us once again ,hot flushes ,night sweats , severe mood swings ranging from crying with laughter to laughing until we cry , crows feet ..what the eff is crows feet ,a crow is a bird right ,so why would you have a birds feet around your eyes..pap smears , which for the ill informed is having these braai like tongs shoved up your nether regions and not pleasantly, to mammograms , again for the ill informed ,having your boobs squashed flat between to 2 metal plates..now just imagine how you would like your little penis squished like that ..OK rather not because some of you might actually enjoy that so warped you are …and wham bam with not so much as a thank you MAM we have become MENOPAUSAL …AND IT HITS US and we grieve for our childhood dreams and passions, lost loves , for the hot bods we have no more ,our perky non lumpy boobs which have now just become lumpy painful useless boobs that need a Wonderbra for some semblance of a cleavage …and as we drown our sorrows with another glass of wine ,we realise that all women’s problems ,pre menstrual syndrome, menstruation, menopause , mental ..are caused by one thing MEN ..and we vow to come back in our next lives as a MAN

So we too can pee standing up , grow old disgracefully , have a beer gut ,wear skinny jeans even though the gut is hanging down to our knees ,yet still think we utterly gorgeous and date women half our age and look ridiculously foolish and have no fear of being accused of being EMOTIONAL..

Its a mans worlds all right but hey what do I know i am just a menopausal slighly unbalanced mere woman , so I will pour more wine ,straighten my crown and create my own fairytale without the overweight ,beer swiggling, farting middle aged Prince

Lockdown

On the 26 March 2020 , lockdown was imposed in South Africa ..It felt like a holiday ,3 weeks of no work , no schoolrun ,schoolwork that have us moms screaming like fishwives , no traffic . We could sleep in , have afternoon naps , drink copious amounts of wine ,binge on netflix. Life was good or so we thought , everyday felt like a long weekend, afternoon cocktails on the patio became the norm and shorts and t-shirts became our everyday attire even for virtual meetings . In a bizarre sort of way all my prayers were answered ,I was feeling stressed and burnt out before lockdown and just longed for a little break …and so God answered… we made funny Tik Tok videos ,became expert breadmakers , cooked up a storm ,feasted like kings and queens and enjoyed fun filled family evenings and howled with laughter at South African’s incredible sense of humour

Month 2 of Lockdown , the alcohol and cigarette ban was felt , we faced up to our addictions and developed new ones , social media being a big one , i devoured every news article , every piece of information was analyzed. The uncertainty of the future came to the fore , worries, anxieties surfaced BUT we suppressed it. IT ALL still felt a little surreal, the covid infections were still low, we were not that concerned ,we stayed at home ,washed our hands, sanitised and wore our masks to go do essential shopping and laughed at all the lockdown memes. Things that were taken for granted like family visits , coffee catch up with friends , walks on the beach and smiles of strangers, hugs were missed but we soldiered on ..life was relatively good still ,we were not personally affected .

3 months into lockdown was now upon us . We watched with disbelief as the infections soared. The ” holiday ” was over , happy thoughts were replaced with fear and as lockdown regulations got more bizarre and arbitary, governments corruption and looting became more exposed , people going hungry ,jobs were lost and businesses closed, the world became a evil angry and dark place.Black Lives Matter took precedence for a few weeks over covid.Friendships were destroyed over whose lives mattered more, and here we thought a pandemic would cause us to pause and breathe and reflect on what truly was important .OH NO it just exposed that HUMANS were the actual virus ,evil and deadly , the true cancer of the earth . WE HAD LEARNT NOTHING

Month 4 of lockdown ..THE HORROR Movie we thought we were watching became a full blown reality TV show with all of us having starring roles..more jobs and lives were lost. Everyday more family and friends were infected , we wrote Rest In Peace on social media ,attended virtual funerals , we missed people we didn’t like ,we forgave those who hurt us and told family and friends we loved them ,we realised that Life without human connection was empty and meaningless , we realized who cared ,who didn’t, we reevaluated things ,people and relationships we invested in, we drew strength from our faith …and yet it felt like a losing battle. Moods ranged from inappropriate humour ,hysterical laughter to anger ,shock and despair

Old hurts and feelings resurfaced ,bedtime was dreaded because instead of sleeping and escaping ,I would lie awake worrying and analyzing every decision and mistake I made and every relationship. Sleep evaded me even with a sleeping tablet , I had to drag myself out of bed ,force myself to smile and exude positivity and fake this great life even though I felt like a failure in every possible way. All these thoughts and emotions were simmering and marinating it was like a volcano waiting to erupt. HOW DARE GOD ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN , WHERE WAS HE IN ALL OF THIS ?

And here we are Level 2 of 5 months of lockdown ,in a blink of an eye the year almost passed us by , and we all are emerging shell-shocked from this shitshow, life appeared to have some semblance of normality , the phrase ” New normal ” irks me greatly and I refuse to acknowledge it and THE VOLCANO erupted ..i actually felt jealous of those who died ,they escaped this effen circus ,this farce of a world ,the pain ,the anger and all the accompanying emotions ,they were better off in a heaven where there was no pain and evil .

The lack of sleep and bravado of soldiering on eventually took its toll ,it finally gave way to lots of tears ,depression, hopelessness and despondency, it left me wondering whether if anything was worth it , whether life would ever be normal or happy again , would any of us emerge unscathed or scarred with wounds not visible to others …..Yet throughout it all i have to cling to God’s word and promise ..” I know the plans I have for you says the Lord ,plans to prosper you and not harm you ,plans to give you hope and a future ”

Moms Life

Can I just explain and rant why mom’s esp working mom’s get old before their time , are cranky , being forgetful , have skin breakouts , acting like a crazed psychopath and enjoy a tipple of wine , it’s got nothing to do with being female , having hormonal mood swings …ITS just from being tired and trying to juggle all the balls and knowing you going to drop at least one BECAUSE GUESS WHAT , yes you can have it all JUST NOT ALL at the SAME TIME. It consists of falling into bed at night exhausted , rolling out of bed looking like Hagar instead of Princess Leila , it’s trying to get to gym with all good intentions , trying to wake up yr kids so they can get to school on time , running around like headless chicken ,sounding like stuck record , ” did u brush yr teeth , have you got yr lunch , have you got yr bookbag , why do u only have one sock on ,” then having to rush home to deal with queries , do admin , replying to emails and all this before actually going to work .. it’s about making beds discovering mouldy food that looks like a science experiment in strange places , putting on a couple of loads of laundry ..then still trying to look all cute with high heels and lipstick in place so yr clients actually think u have it together . It’s about rushing to pick up kids at school then freaken realising that u have yr days totally mixed up and u going to have to rush back coz the one child is still doing ballet , the other one is doing squash and both Divas must still get to swimming and THAT u still need to get to a parents teachers meeting and forgot to take stuff out for dinner because of course 2 min noodles or bake beans on toast would be a big no no .. in this household because of course mother dearest should be preparing Master chef type meals . It’s about finally driving home and wondering what the flip did I do with my life and just as you about to fall off into a nice sleep dreaming of that gorgeous hot man who looks like George Clooney ,with whom you sipping cocktails on a tropical island , you are rudely awakened by the screams of ” mommeeeeeeee …….and you whisper to yourself FFS before answering ….and yep u guessed it we probably wouldn’t have it any way … Nah I lie this is not the life I ordered ….tho George Clooney would be quite welcome….

Ming Balls

So today’s topic is Ming Balls: yes someone inboxes me re : Ming balls! I did not want to ask whether she was reading 50 Shades , if she was wetting herself or if hubby was complaining it’s not a tight fit?
Well Ming Balls is just a smarter sexier way of doing Kegels exercises.If you don’t know what’s kegels exercises ,are u sure u a woman ?
Kegels strengthens your pelvic floor muscles, decrease the chance of urinary continence , pelvic floor prolapse and improves Vaginal Tone for Enhanced Sexual Enjoyment and Orgasm for both parties ! YEAH YEAH THOUGHT THAT WOULD GRAB YOUR ATTENTION!!!
As we all know ageing , pregnancy , childbirth weakens the pelvic floor muscles . I have had 4 kids but don’t don’t have any complaints .Admittedly I did not push all 4 out ! OK OK a bit TMI
So how do Ming Balls work ? Well you get different types but basically it’s a ball shaped ( DUH ) weight either single or double attached to a string/cord, that you insert into your Va jay jay like a tampon !your muscles then contract to keep them inside !you wear them for only 15 minutes a day !
SHOULD you be MING LING whilst wearing them ? Well no one will know unless you are planning on the other kind of mingling THEN space could be a problem.The only question I have : the vaginal muscles are like normal muscles right ?SO if you over exercise them , do they increase in size ? Because it can happen that one forgets about them !ASK ME ? OK OK sorry TMI again !
Anyway I digress in 8-12 weeks,you should notice a difference !
So Ladies HAPPY MINGLING
Your hubbies should be smiling and enjoying a tighter fit ! HOWEVER if you are complaining about a LOOSE FIT ,has it occurred to you ,he might just have a tiny wiener ! THEN HOUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM , NOTHING on earth is gonna help for that ! IT IS WHAT IT IS ! Work with what you have hunny!
BUt come on LADIES LETS SAY ALL TOGETHER NOW :
SIZE DOES NOT MATTER !!! LOL YEAH RIGHT !

Driving

Just thinking LIFE is a bit like driving , all you are trying to do is go merrily along your way , stay in your lane and get to your destination safely. But along your journey ,you have twats( normally a BMW driver ,but research has shown they have the ass gene ) who try to cut in front of you ,pushing you practically off road , then others recklessly trying to overtake you endangering your life ,then you have those idiots who ride up on yr tail, stressing and freaking you out. Dont talk about those birds who Poop SPLAT in the middle of your windscreen ,momentarily startling and distracting you , or you think you are taking a short cut or you take the wrong off ramp , and all you end up being is lost confused and prolonging your arrival. So like driving all we can do in this journey called LIFE , is to stay in our lanes ,stay focused ,keep our wits about us ,keep the faith and pray that we get to our destination safely, albeit maybe a bit battered and dented but as long as we make it. So this very battered ,emotionally bruised and physically dented and exhausted driver is going to have a bubble bath ,yeah sue me thanks to ANC we dont have proper dams , and pop a sleeping tablet , and will RISE and Shine bright like a diamond , a bit dimly and try again tomorrow 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Zultanite

Zultanite a semi precious stone , extremely rare because it’s only found in the Anatolian mountains of Turkey

Zultanite a gem I was incredibly attracted to from the very first moment I set my eyes upon it…..

Zultanite very durable , brilliant and disperses light , sparkling in even low light

Zuktanit ..is it rare ? Hell yeah even rarer than diamonds , obviously it’s only found in Turkey …beautiful , incredibly so ..but what was it about this gem that attracted me so ? That so deeply resonated with my soul that I had to have one , was it the color , was it the fact that that it was so beautiful or the fact that it was authentic to Turkey a country that blew me away with its beauty

Arrh so one would think but No my friends it wasn’t that . It was the properties it possessed , you see Zultanite has this unique ability to change color depending on the amount of light shone upon it . In a brightly lit environment it appears bright green , very much like an emerald , in a more natural light a more brownish topaz color with a hint of yellow , from champagne to cinnamon , in a dimmer light or on a overcast day , the color reflects silver grey and if you hold it to a very bright light a beautiful pinkish tone …

Why did it attract me so much , well it reminded me of ME , it reminded me of You , t reminded me of every single person …of how we shine and sparkle depending on the light shone upon use, of how we come alive and glitter and exude beauty when we are validated and loved correctly ..of how we turn our brightness and personalities on and off depending on our circumstances , in different environments we glow differently , sometimes very brightly and sometimes very dimly

Every single store or market stall in Turkey is ablaze with these jewels , sparkling settings in rings , earrings , necklaces luring you with their beauty and brilliance , ranging in price from 30 lira to thousands of euros , BUT alas like most things in life these are not real , but mere fakes of the true Zultanite and only once you place a real gem next to the fake , do you spot the differences.

Very much like the people we meet and encounter and who will inevitably cross our path in this journey called life, luring and attracting us with their beauty and brilliant sparkle only for us to discover it’s not real and all that glitters is not gold.

You see folks true brilliance and beauty and authenticity will always shine and sparkle through even the most dreary dismal settings . A true gem will never lose its sparkle, it’s glittering beauty might be dimmed ever so slightly in the incredibly difficult and sometimes heartbreaking curveballs that life throws at us , but it’s true sparkle will never fades. The older we get and wiser we become do we appreciate the true gems that we have experienced and collected along the way , some might be uncut , a bit rough and unpolished but in the right setting bring beauty and joy to those who value them

Did I get a Zultanite , YES I did , I couldn’t resist, I got my Zultanite so that I could be reminded of my self worth , my beauty, my uniqueness …I got a Zultanite because IT IS WHAT IT IS BUT NOT WHAT IT SEEMS